Journal Entry: Fri Nov 27, 2009, 2:52 AM
this is to remind everyone that this is a free journal, that means i could write what ever i want
if it pisses you off then don't read. if you don't like fights then don't comment stuff that we'll going to be arguing for a very long time, it's pointless.
and if i want you to do something or a suggestion to, i would've told you so personally or (if i can't talk to you personally) note you or comment at your page.
thats simple right?
i do apologize for some insults i said, rather be kept than stored inside which could lead to much harsher thing at the end.
and remember to read each and every bit of it... cuz i don't want to hear what i don't want to.
and i don't want to explain either, i didn't ever explained why I'am this way to someone that clearly before so i wont try and repeating it again. cuz any language if far tooo incomplete to tell what I'm thinking or what my emotions are. besides I'm terrible at saying stuff , you wont understand me the way i want you to.
and there is such thing as equality or 'licence' (for me the word license there is like this state of relationship to a person that allows you to do something special that no one others with out this 'license' can't )
oh god i wont even try to explain that it could get preeety messy on some sort.
oh an-and if you don't want to change then what use of a human are you? change is a form of developing and being better sometimes
things are always affected and changed by the movement of living things or the presence of one non-living thing. telling a person "i couldn't be affected by you" or in some other kinder way you can adapt that is like telling the person you don't exist at all.
i could rant here all i want, you affected or not. I'm not fully aware of what may this journal might look like to you. but since I'm in control of this i could write what ever comes to mind. but I'm also aware of my responsibilities of having this freedom to write in this journal, i must not insult a person and some other thing that may hurt directly or indirectly.
but sometimes what ever i type here hurts you and sometimes I'm not aware of that.
so could you ever forgive this person for such error or what not that I've said, but it's not an error really it's just me writing stuff and you react... it's also my mistake for posting this in public but as you see i want to talk to open minded people that could view my situation from the other side, the side which I can't look through. as i am right now I'm emotionally unstable due to maturing and i need minds of people who are as you say good advisors to kid like me. it's not LIKE I HAVE FRIENDS OUT THERE WHO COULD UNDERSTAND THIS WITH OUT ARGUING WITH ME, yes i have friends older than me, but such childish problems shouldn't be their concerns.
I'm not perfect and SO are you. friends could understand that better.
what is it called again, when you are not doing thing to someone because you don't want them to do it upon you?
that a strict rule that I'm following, and think how the world could change if this was followed.
example: if a bully won't bully this kid (i know this will sound really stupid but i don't care I'm writing it here) the bully would save his energy and precious time, he could probably use this energy and time in studying or perhaps do some usefull things. and lets say he studied, he might become a doctor or have this job that could probably be usefull.
and lets say this kid never got bullied, and never became withdrawn. the id mgiht have some courage of his own to open up a bright path in his future (I'm exagerating )
and lets say that kid beccame really depressed and attempted suicide, if he wasn't bullied he wouldn't be in despair or have attempted to end his life.
----- well thats the end to this journal, a share of thoughts, by me.(cuz damn i can smell the food already and i wanna eat now, my little tummy is speaking to me now)
yeah i could have wrong grammars and stuff but yeah forgive me for that cuz I'm a human. and don't think everything is about you (like what i'm doing), remember i didn't put any name so it might not be you. i also know that you have the freedom to comment ont his journal but remember don't ask for something you are not looking for, like a fight or a permanent damage on the relationship you (whoever you are thats reading this)and i have
well that what i think about the whole thing that been happening.
and i don't want to be cornered and forced to explain what i wrote in my other journals.
Listening to: anata ga koko ni riyuu- rie fu
Reading: Sense and sensibility byJane Austen
Watching: Eureka seven ep 30